SHARING EXPERIENCE March 19,
1999
Chi Kung and the Very Difficult Year
by Christina
Brugman
My story is nothing spectacular: no miraculous healing or
onset of
clairvoyance, just the ability to endure and grow profoundly in the
midst of difficulties.
I began Chi Kung in January of 1998. For some time
I had been learning an energy healing technique and had been going to healer who
uses energy. I had also taken a couple of classes of tai chi at Evergreen
Hospital which I liked very much. I wanted to know more about how energy works
in my own body, to have more awareness of it, and to control it myself for my
own well-being.
In January, too, I began to understand that my mother was
going to die. She had been in ill health for a few years, and things were
steadily getting worse. This realization hit me very hard on her birthday, the
27th, and I began a time of anticipatory grieving, difficult and
sad.
That winter was also a time of tremendous growth spiritually and in
my way of thinking about and understanding the world. Sometimes I felt like a
chick hatching from an egg. It was hard work and not very comfortable. My world
had become too small for me, but what lay outside the shell was unknown and
scary.
I practiced my Level One exercises quite faithfully. I tried to be
more
aware and feel the energy. Most of the time I just operated on faith
that the exercises did what they were supposed to, as my ability to discern the
energy was pretty minimal.
In January, February, and March I began to
have trouble with anxiety and depression, which reached a climax in April. I
ended up in the emergency room on Easter Sunday. I continued to practice Chi
Kung throughout this time, struggling to stay grounded and centered. It's
possible that the Chi Kung was releasing a bunch of horrible stuff. I don't
know. I also continued prayer and other spiritual practices, but I felt
completely overwhelmed. I started on medication at my doctor's advice. I
continued Chi Kung practice and was able to discontinue the anxiety medicine
after a few weeks, though I still took a low dose of anti-depressant. In late
spring things settled down a lot. I was able to continue my practice and
progress to Level Two. I particularly liked the more meditative parts. I got
more centered and better grounded. It's a good thing.
In June my husband
and I set off for a long-anticipated trip to join his
family at Yosemite.
When we stopped at Crater Lake en route, he suddenly got dark spots in his eye.
We hurried to Reno and found an ophthalmologist who told us that our vacation
was over. Barry would have to have immediate surgery as he was in the process of
a retinal detachment. We decided on the option of him flying home to have the
surgery so we wouldn't be stuck in a Reno hotel for two weeks of recovery. That
left me to drive home from Reno by myself. I had never driven very far on my
own, but there was nothing else to do, and I surprised myself by doing just
fine. His surgery went well, and we made it through two weeks of keeping his
head tilted at a 45-degree angle.
I continued my Chi Kung practice and
kept my center. In July my father-in-law needed major surgery. I was chosen as
the best of the children to go and help out as I have some medical background
and an assertive personality. I had never driven in LA before and had never
wanted to, but found myself traversing several freeways in the hour-long drive
to and from the hospital each day. There were some complications of surgery and
lots of advocacy needed with the medical people, but I continued my practice
(this time overlooking the Pacific with a view of Catalina Island) maintained my
balance as well as sense of calm and humor. This saw me through the ten-hour
days of helping out in the hospital.
In August, my sister had to call the
aid car for my mother who had collapsed in front of her house coming home from
Church. She had ventricular fibrillation and was taken to the hospital. After a
week she was able to go home, but really could no longer take care of herself.
My sister and I divided up the responsibility. I was with her during the
weekdays and my sister (who lived with her) took the evenings and most of the
weekends. At first I thought it would be possible to work and carry on my other
activities while taking care of Mom, but it became apparent that almost
everything else would have to be put aside. This was a difficult adjustment for
me, but I kept up my Chi Kung practice and was able to cope. My mother and I got
to visit, watch her game
shows, and listen to her radio personalities
together. We went through family photos and I cooked her special things. I
bathed her and washed her hair and took her to the doctor and coordinated with
the visiting nurses.
In September my father-in-law had another surgery
but I was not able to go to Los Angeles. I did what I could by phone and prayer.
I took Level Two over again, as I didn't feel I really knew the tai chi part
very well. I kept up my practice, and my internal balance improved.
In
late October I had to call the aid car, and Mom went back to the hospital. Every
day they thought she would be able to go home the next day, but she just got
worse. Finally it was apparent that she would not get better, and we decided to
take her home to die. We did not want her to die in the hospital, and neither
did she. So, on a Friday we took her home and set up a bed in the living room.
The pets and the neighbors and the grandchildren and the friends came and went.
My sister and I took care of her 24 hours a day until our other sister arrived
from Ohio on Sunday. Mom died that night. It was holy and peaceful and
beautiful. We were all with her. It was everything I had prayed for for so many
months. It was remarkable how centered I was. I was present to the situation but
not overcome by it. I was sad but happy too, that my mother's suffering was
over, and she was at peace.
November was incredibly complex. My husband's
first day of retirement was the day of Mom's funeral. We were in the middle or
remodeling a storage room into an office for him. Our daughter came home from
nearly a year in Europe the next week. November 23rd was our 25th Wedding
Anniversary. All the relatives from far and near came for a series of parties on
the Thanksgiving weekend. It was a blur or activity, but I continued my practice
and kept my center.
December was busy with Christmas, and then in January
we returned to Los Angeles to help my husband's parents with heavy work around
the house. I got to practice again with a view of Catalina Island. I progressed
to Level Three and particularly liked the meditative exercises. In February I
returned to work which was a real adjustment.
For so many months I had plenty
of time in the morning to make my practice a priority, but now I had to work at
it, getting up at 5 AM to find the time. I don't regret it.
Now it is
March and we are back in Los Angeles helping my husband's parents once more.
Today I practiced looking over the ocean, though the island was not showing.
Hawks were flying overhead.
I am no "black belt" in chi kung, just an
ordinary person who finds it a
helpful and necessary anchor in my daily life.
I have a lot to learn, but
I'm content to progress as the way leads. I don't
see how I could have made it through all the stress and emotional upheaval of
this year without it. I know it is an important component for the health of my
body, mind, and spirit. I will continue to practice, and I believe I will keep
my balance and maintain my center.
Healing dream and Qigong
practice by Jack Snowden
SHARING HEALING EXPERIENCE April 8,
1999
Healing dream and Qigong practice
by Jack Snowden
Good
evening Dr. Sun,
Where to begin. There have been many Qigong events over
the past four years of practice with you. Some of the feeling, dreams, and body
healing are slight while others are overwhelming.
Recently my stomach was
bothering me. There had been many changes in my life: job, life partner, and
parents moving into extended care. My life had taken on more then its share of
stress and it was affecting my body.
In a dream after doing an extended
session of Qigong I was shown that raw cabbage, salt, garlic and olive oil would
be very helpful in relieving the problem. When I made the concoction it was
delicious and would devour a head of cabbage a day. Yes, the pain went
away.
Today stress has subsided with continual practice and diet. Life
has taken a more reflective and introspective turn. Because of the quietness of
turning inside and seeing the outside reflected within, more compassion has
resulted.
Over the years of classroom time I have watched the other
students change to more vibrate individuals. They smile more and feel good
inside their body and mind. The are able to contribute to the group dynamics and
push for more intensive learning.
The ancient practice is filled with
common sense, eastern magic, philosophy and a unique form of healing medicine.
As I sit here today and write reflecting, it appears that Qigong is truly the
root of all Chinese medicine. For me personally, it has become an important
element that I carry with me each day. It has taught me to breath and enjoy
life.