My Qigong Experience & Musings
by Mark Wigzell
I started Yi Ren Qigong in July of 2003. My daily practice routine consists of Ba Duan Jin, Zhan Zhuang and Taiji in the morning and Yi Ren Qigong in the evening before going to bed. Ba Duan Jin (Eight Pieces of Brocade) is a set of 8 stretches and Zhan Zhuang involves standing still in different positions (even on one leg). Whilst the classes and workshops in Yi Ren have led to all my initial experiences of qi, I have found that the other practices have "come alive" and taken on more significance as time goes on. I believe that Zhan Zhuang is a kind of slow burner that works imperceptibly in very subtle ways. Ba Duan Jin opens up the meridians, increases strength and blood flow.
My first eye-opener experience occurred shortly after taking the Level 1 workshop. Lying in bed, I was able to trace the qi flow in my leg , Ren, Du and Chong meridians through many of the energy centers including the 3rd eye. I continued my study with Level 2 and my normal qi level began to increase.
I realized that I could circulate qi by using intent in synchrony with breath. I found that my morning practice enabled me to sustain the sensation of qi flow at the Dandian and Wisdom Gate throughout the day. The intensity of qi is deepening and seems to be periodic like a sine-wave: there is an ebb & flow to it which seems to be aligning with the lunar cycle. Sometimes I wake up at night with intense whirling and vibrating particularly at the shoulder center, and also at the 3rd eye.
One night I was trying unsuccessfully to get to sleep. As I lay in exhausted reverie the whirling sensations took me. They increased and I went with them until suddenly I felt myself pulled out of my body. I had to shake my arms free at the last moment. Unfortunately I did not have enough awareness left, and slept normally after that, so I had no recollection of my travels. However, the process of "falling asleep" was definitely conscious, and there is no doubt in my mind that I "left my body". There is a "streaming" of qi from the 3rd eye to the Dantian and Earth center and I have been half expecting that my 3rd eye might be developing as a result.
Recently I have noticed that movie like sequences occur when going to sleep: I can control their content but if left alone they tend to morph just as dreams do. I have confirmed with Dr. Sun that these sequences should be observed and allowed to morph naturally. I began to notice that as I fall asleep my visual field is filled with various kinds of phosphenes (squiggles, waves, stars, dots), and as I drift further asleep a peculiar visual streaming occurs. Like in Startrek during a warp drive sequence with the stars flowing by.
The occurrence of phosphenes occurred in tandem with a book I read called "Spiritwalker" by Hank Wesselman. Many thanks to Bill for mentioning it to me. Hank is a scientist who began having spontaneous visions of epic proportions. As a result of his experiences he has become a shaman. My visions of phosphenes just as he described them have caused me to restart my investigations of shamanism and in the process I have acquired a CD of shamanic drumming. It causes my 3rd eye and base of skull to vibrate and I have had some pre-cursors to Journeying. One such was the tunnel or shaft with "ladders" which I tried to follow. However it keeps dissipating before I get to the end! It appears that the Right Thinking of the Buddhist 8 Fold Path is also an essential aspect of shamanism and this brings me to the intellectual struggle with the "I".
I recently read a book called "The Void" by A. H. Almaas. In it he explains how psychology and spiritual teaching are part of a continuum and are not in conflict with one another. The key to understanding this is to take the core of Depth Psychology known as Object Relations theory and push it one final step. Object Relations theory teaches that the personality forms after the 3rd month of infancy as the newborn begins the separation-individuation process. This process is in essence one of identification with a self-image, an object image or the affect that arises between them. (Me/Mum:Anger, Me/Mum: No Love, etc). The identification walls off the psychological openness of that wonderful "merged state" that a newborn starts off in. Subsequent identifications coalesce into the self-image. The aim of object-relations is to help the patient peel off all the identifications like layers of an onion. The process of understanding brings dis-identification which brings the feeling of space. After resolving the Oedipal conflict the patient is considered "cured". Psychology has no scope to go any further, dissolve the final set of identifications . This is where the seamless join with spiritual teachings steps in.
The spiritual traditions have always taught that one should "free oneself of one's ego" in order to achieve real peace and to know God. God is often likened to a vast ocean of peace, bliss and love. Becoming one with God is the goal. To the man of the world this is a fearsome thing however, since his very self is the price of entry! This is only an apparent loss however, as the self that is lost is merely the automatic identifications that have been made since birth: the very things that depth psychology can remove! So with the new viewpoint that Almaas brings, one can see that the process of dis-identification can be continued until the ordinary self has been completely dissolved. What remains is what Almaas calls the Essential Personality. It is that which the man of the world always aspired to anyway: Autonomous, Courageous, Compassionate, Loving, Knowing etc, and it is the true self, the "Pearl Beyond Price" as Almaas calls it.
A comforting thought to hold is that when one experiences loss one should be glad: one can only lose that which is false: the False Pearl. That which is real can never be lost. If you have followed thus far, you are probably wondering how one could move forward and "peel the onion" so to speak.
Energetic feedback may well provide a much simpler method for self-advancement. Simply be aware of what is going on, watch without participating: no judgements. When you notice your energy is dissipating, or "bad vibes" are coming in, or the "connectedness" with the other has gone, then you have your feedback. If this occurs often enough you will automatically self-correct. Thus the layers of the onion can be peeled in a more natural and self-empowering way, from the developing core of who you truly are.
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